New Year’s Eve

New Year’s Eve, almost New Year’s. The 1/1/2015. What a year this has been but honestly I’m looking a head to what might and can be and not to what was and what could have been. Every new year’s eve, at 12 o’clock on the dot, I burn a bunch of wishes/ dreams or fears into the wind (or bury the ashes if there is no wind) in an attempt to show the universe that I am not giving up on my wishes/ dreams or that I’m facing my fears by burning them. It’s very relaxing amongst the screaming crowds of carnival goers.
I haven’t made any new year resolutions though itwould be wise to at least make one to start out fresh in the new year.
So here is a few:

1. Get healthy by losing weight
2. Met new people to find like-minded friends
3. Handle finances with care

Yeah that’s possibly it for now. Looking forward to moving a head in life, being happy and being with the guy I love (New Year’s Kiss xx)
Night… I mean morning xx


Let’s get serious!

As of today, Monday 29th of December,  there is no chocolate in the house (except for the chocolate cake dad brought home yesterday) and I feel like I can start getting serious about my health. I’m going to share with the blog my progress on fortnightly intervals as I hope that by sharing my progress will help me be modivated to keep going…. Fun reading right. So here is my first update on my healthy me program. Have to admit, I just made up that name to give me something to work on, kind of like a project at school type of thing.

So here goes-
Height: 152 cm -Pretty short huh
Weight: 78.8 kg
BMI: 34
Wasit Measured: At the moment I don’t have a measuring tape so I’ll put this information in when I get one

As pointed out, I’m in pretty bad shape for a 19 year old and with my mum’s added health issues, it’s all the more reason I start to think about my health before it’s way to late. Right now I’m a size 16 in clothes and I would like to be able to fit in a size 14. I’m being realistic though as my body shape is quiet curvey and it is highly doubyful that I could fit into a 14 however there are differnt materials around so it is in fact possible.
My day today was just cleaning and keeping busy because usually I would snack throughout the day on chocolate or chips but today I was determined to start my health me program. Keepimg busy helps me to focus my energy on anything other then eating which is good because whenever I got the urge to snack, I would stop and make some green tea. Ben helped me clean which also kept me on trackand whenever I would complain that I was hungry he would hug me and tell me to drink water. We had a big talk about mine and his health today. He could tell that this is going to be difficult for me somhe proposed that he’ll give up smoking as he knows I don’t like him smoking and I’ll give up chocolate as I know he worries about me. If one us fails, e.g. if I fail, he gets to smoke for a day and viser verse. I personally think this will help me as I look after others before myself and because I love him so damn much, I won’t eat chocolate as I won’t want him to smoke. His good at thinking of things like that.
Well it’s late, until next time, night xx


The hardest thing about going on any kind of diet for me is chocolate.  Giving up sugar is fine but my biggest weakness….. Chocolate. I mean what girl is immune to the sweet taste of chocolate? Ben and I agreed that the chocolate that’s already in the house (which isn’t much) I can have but once it’s gone, it’s gone. However it doesn’t help when dad brings home chocolate cakes.
Today was not the best day to cut down on chocolate. Dad left to go to the Sunday raffles with nan and pop while Ben was asleep until 2:00  because he had hayfever the last night and couldn’t sleep so I sat with my cat and ate almost a whole box of M&Ms. I can tell you I felt horrible afterwards. Not the ‘I’m going to be sick’ kind of horrible but the ‘crap, I’m not supposed to eat this’ kind of horrible. I’ll just have to try harder to control myself. I might try and have some sugar free gum whenever I feel like chocolate,  it might help.
Dad came home at the same time Ben woke up. Which was good as I was starting to go crazy having deep and meaningful conversations with Crookshanks (yes, I named my cat after Hermione’s cat in Harry Potter). I helped dad put away the shopping which to my disappointment, he had a chocolate cake that pop didn’t want while Ben called up bigpond to fix the internet problem. It’s pretty common for us to have internet problems so you can imagine the surprise when the guy told Ben that’s it’s been down for quiet some time. The longest we’ve actually had problems for has been a day max but 2 or 3 is just bizzare. Though my theroy is the weather got to it. Rain can be a bother sometimes even though I really enjoy it.
For the first time ever I had a bath and then a shower. My thought process was that I’d have a nice relaxing Lavender sented bath with my Rose Quartz Crystal and then a cool (but not too cool as the weather is a tad bit cold) shower to wash away any negative energy,  pain from my wrist and unfortunately the Lavender sent… Or at least dull the smell so Ben didn’t end up with Hayfever again…. from my body. That and it’s just easier to wash my hair in the shower then the bath. I am heavily into herbal medicines and Crystals and things. I have a strong connection to my spiritual side and because of who I am, I have been called a gypsy amongst other things throughout my life. Though I understand that people have their own opinions, views and beliefs that I chose not to listen to them. I know I said it before but I’ll say it again because there are only a few mottos I live by, those who mind, don’t matter and those who matter, don’t mind.
After I was out of the shower,  I made a green tea and went back to bed to watch some anime with Ben. We agreed on Bleach as we are only up to the second season and I haven’t seen it before. Ben has but no matter how many times I ask him what happens, he changes the subject. I mean come on, I can’t help it if I’m so impatient or as I like to call it VIP (very impatient person). During Bleach I decided to pamper myself so Ben cooked dinner which was fabulous and then I went to the bathroom to apply a face mask and use more Lavender oil to massage into my hands and wrists. I really enjoyed taking my time and doing a kind of spa treatment for myself. My adverage day is spent looking after other people either worrying about them, listening to their problems/ drama, organising and planning events and days out or racking my brain tring to things of words of wisdom/ advice for them that it was just nice to think of me for once. Don’t get me wrong I am kind of a mother hen of the group and I love my friends to bits but I have to admit sometimes I do feel like I just don’t want to know any of the dramas or problems and sometimes I don’t want to plan and organize….. So at times where I can think of no one but myself, I lather it up.
Right now I think it’s Bleach time, so until next time, night xx

Start of a healthier me

So yesterday was Boxing Day and the plan was to have a look at the sales around Sydney then catch a train to Blacktown to stay with my uncle. But plans never work out do they? Owell. What ended up happening was having a look around at the sales, badly bruising and spraining my wrist, catching a bus to Blacktown as there were track works happening and then finding out that leaving for Port instead of staying at my uncle’s. As much as I was thrilled to find out we were coming home early, I was also disappointed that no one in the family had bothered to tell us until the day off.
Apparently pop was sick and wanted to come home but to be honest I’m not entirely sure that was the case. Though you never tell can you. However,  I put whatever the cause was out of my mind as whatever it was allowed me to come home early plus see Ben. It was amazing to see him. I missed him like a penguin misses her mate when she’s out getting fish….. Or is that the male who does that? I stayed up as long as I could with him when we got home but I fell asleep as it was very late/ early.
Today however, I slept in until 10 which was good considering I didn’t get much sleep in the car. I got up and sat with my cat for a while because let’s face it, I’m a crazy cat lady and I missed him like mad too. You know you are a crazy cat lady when you answer your cat’s meows. Then when Ben finally woke up at about 2 ish, we went to the doctors. I went for my test results but I thought, Hey why not get her to check out my wrist. Thankfully I was right about my wrist being just sprained and it wasn’t anything else though the doc said if the pain still persists after a few weeks then it’ll be wise to have an x-ray for closer inspection.  My test results came back all clear…. Well my insulin levels are a bit high but if I work on it now then I’ll be ok. The doctor said that if I was to continue what I am doing then I with have real bad problems but for now I am ok. She gave me a list of recommended foods and suggested I go on a bit of a diet. Though, she didn’t have to tell me twice. I already know that I eat far too much chocolate.
If my own thoughts weren’t enough I use to have my mum call me fatty boom sticks and just last year I had very cruel people (anonymously of course) say that I was ugly and fat. To be honest, I really don’t care what others think of me, it only really matters what I think of myself. Those who mind, don’t matter, those who matter, don’t mind. However,  I know I have to really consider what I put into my body if I want to stay healthy.  Luckily,  the doctor figured that I was feeling a little lost and confused about how I was going to limit myself from all sorts of temptations so she gave me a sheet of what I can eat unlimited of and the foods I need to limit. Turns out you can eat unlimited fats and proteins. The doctor actually recommended that eating fats help when you want to lose weight.  Where the hell was this information when I was growing up. She also gave me a counting booklet with all the grams in different foods which is good for me because I sometimes like to have a look on the back of the packaging. Another thing she gave me which was helpful (to me anyway) was a bog by a Swedish doctor that has stories from others who are on the same journey as me. Pretty neat I think. The blog is LCHF dietdoctor- she just told me to goggle it.
I do believe my trip to the doctors helped Ben and I decide what we were having for dinner. Considering the doctor recommened that I have lots of carbohydrates, Ben thought of pasta. And I can tell you, it was delicious. I think….. When I have money that is….. That I’m going to have a look at getting a dietitian and maybe even a personal trainer just to help me a long. I mean I am very serious about staying healthy.
Until next time. Night xx

Christmas #2

Well I didn’t end up getting an Easy Way on our walk but it turns out that the area we are staying in is opened. Dad and I walked all around Darling Harbour and man it was hot. It was like a thousand swords on fire sticking into your back and neck. In saying that though, it was a nice walk. We were walking back to the hotel and I figured out that dad is going deaf. At least parcially anyway. I said ‘picture me being fanned by pirates’ and he thought I said ‘picture me being bent over by pirates’. I mean come on, how do you get that from what I said.
Dad is obsessed with DVDs and you can imagine the first day we got down to Sydney dad brought at least 5- 10 DVDs. Dad put on a movie called Sabotage.  It’s pretty good but I wouldn’t say it’s a movie I’d watch ordinarily. I’m more of a Harry Potter/ fantasy kind of girl not the action/ thriller. However, I do like horror. Of course I’m eating an mango because there is no other way say this then there are my favorite fruit. People keep saying I’ll turn into a mango if I keep eatiing them but you know what, at least I’ll be tasty. All jokes a side, I have a problem and chocolate. Biggest chocoholic.
I shouldn’t have as much chocolate as I do. I had a bllod test to check my insulin levels. Though I don’t know how bad they are, I should be careful as high insulin levels run on mum’s side of the family. I’ll get my results when dad and I get back to Port. So fingers crossed I’m OK, which to be honest I think I am. It’s funny how something so yummy could do some real bad damage to your health…. But that won’t stop me MAWHAHAHA- Distracted again.
So the time here is 4:30pm and thunder has started across the sky. The temperature has definitely cooled down a lot and I can’t help but think this temperature would have been much better instead of the smoldering heat.
I was hoping to run into a few friends I have lost contact with. I somehow knew that I wouldn’t run into them. It’s been 8-9 years now and to be honest, no matter how many times I wish, pray or hope I don’t think I’ll get to see them again…. Well maybe when I’m old I’ll run into them. Anyway whereve my crazy friends are, I hope they had a Merry Christmas. Actually,  every year we come to Sydney I hope I somehow run knto them. Though truthfully, its been so long I have kinda forgotten what they look like. I feel bad but at the same time I wouldn’t blame them if they had forgotten what I looked like.
Having trouble working out a hotel dryer? Just keep pressing random buttons…. And hope you don’t brake it. Well, that’s what dad does but…. Its not working for him. In fact watching it is pretty funny. Whoa ok that was scary, I just looked out the window at the storm and a massive lightening bolt just came crashing down. It was so close to the hotel where we are staying.


So dad got the dryer going…. he read  the instructions. Hey, it’s better then breaking it.
Anywho, I gotta go. My dinner is burning… Whoops. Talk again, night and Merry Christmas xx


Today is Christmas. A day where there is nothing to do because everything is closed. I don’t mind it though, I like relaxing with a good book. Just like every year, it’s raining. I mean it’s not a white Christmas but you have to admit Australia’s wet Christmas is pretty good when it’s that timeof year to spend time with your family. There is no escape MAWHAHAHA- Sorry, got a bit carried away there. I love staying in a hotel however, it is mine and dad’s hide away from our family. I’m not sure how this hiding system works but no one from our family has actually tried to spend any Christmas’ with us. Insane right. Let me just clarify something because at the moment it kinda sounds really bad. I love my family. I really really do. I would do anything they asked….. maybe. But in saying that, all my family (mum and dad’s side) live in Sydney where as I live in Port Macquarie which is maybe 6 hours or something away.  I live with my dad and occasionally stay with my mum and her partner. I’m an only child and both sides of my family is huge. I mean I could get lost just standing in a crowd of my huge family. So when I say something like I want to hide from my family, it’s only because I don’t want to lose myself by just standing there… That and well it’s that huge, some members I haven’t even meet. Of course, that never stops them from ringing for Christmas which is how you know if it’s really Christmas….. Or Easter….. or a birthday you forgot. You know if you weren’t one to keep up with the calendars. As a Christmas tradition, dad and I watch Horror movies. Today’s choice is Stephen King’s Red Rose. I love his mind and his books, the way he thinks is amazing. The stories he comes up with. Him and J.K Rowling plus a few other authors are my favorite. Great literature is honestly my idea of peace. That and mangos for breakfast and I’m already having a fantastic Christmas day. There it is, the countless of phone calls from family members. Ben called which was good because I miss him like mad. He is still baving trouble figuring out what to order for my Christmas present. I keep telling him to just get what he thinks I’ll like but apparently he is having trouble with that because he thinks I’ll love everything he’s pick. Actually,  that is true as I love everything he gets me, even if it’s a rubber bouncy ball. I love him that much that it wouldn’t even matter what he got me because I’m getting something from the one I love. Yet he insists to make it perfect which to be perfectly and 100% honest, makes me feel special and love him even more every day. I don’t meanto brag (well maybe a little) but I am so luckyto have him in my life and I believe somewhere out there, there is a guy like that for every girl…. To bad this generation is too caught up in technology and inappropriate clothing and outrageously inappropriate behaviors to even notice. I’m glad I turned out the way I did. Getting side tracked…. As you can tell is my specialty…. Soon it is lunch which I can’t wait, that’s because I have Butter chicken and more mangos. Then maybe dad and I will go for a walk. Though I’m not expecting anything to be open but I have learnt to expect the unexpected. I’ve had to growing up. At least the sun has come out.  Maybe I’ll get one of favorite drinks- easy way. They have these black pearl things that are at the bottom… Ok I’m horrible at explaining but please take my word. Well until later, Cya xx

Chinese Gardens

I’ve decided to create a blog at the worst yet best time of the year. Christmas. As if shopping for friends and family wasn’t enough,  it’s the pushing and squishing of crowds and crowds in the shops. Shopping at the best of times is kind of over kill unless you need something of course. Though at Christmas it’s 10x worse.
To be honest, I have no idea why I’ve decided to create a blog. I don’t do anything worth blogging about but I’ve always wanted to (no matter how lame) just to say that I have. I’m down at Sydney at the moment for the third time in about 4 weeks. The first time was with my boyfriend for his mate’s wedding. It was such a beautiful wedding and there was a photo booth. My boyfriend and I got really drunk and took heaps of photos from the photo booth, thankfully the groom and bride had organised to have all the guests to stay in the hotel where the reception was because I don’t think we would have made it home otherwise. We went back to Port Macquarie for the weekend and then we had to go back to Sydney for my nana’s 100th borthday. I mean whoa too many family members. Poor Ben was completely overwhelmed…. Well so was I. I have family members I didn’t even know about and that is just on my mum’s side.
We went back to Port and I finally got to rest for a week before coming back down for Christmas, though Ben didn’t come because he went to Tarree to see his family. Dad and I came down together to see his side of the family. Though, we ended up getting a hotel as the family gets a little too much to handle (especially at Christmas).
As a Sydney tradition, I go to the Chinese gardens. I like to think that I’m a bit of a photographer…… But I know that I don’t have a real talent with it, hey a girl can dream.




Then dad and I walked up to Glebe to have a look around. I went to at least three bookshops looking for the historical fiction book ‘The Hayburn Family’ but apparently it’s not in print anymore, I just have to hope and pray that somewhere in a second hand store there have it… That or I’ll get an e-book of it. It’s a shame about the book, I mean I love reading books. Having a good book, a cup of green tea and some chocolate biscuits is my idea of heaven.
Tomorrow is Christmas and honestly I haven’t for anyone. It’s not that I don’t want to get anything for anyone, it’s just that I can’t think of what to get anyone. Though, Ben and I have an agreement not to give each other anything until January as we are both ordering presants for each other.
Well I best get some sleep (or in my case, lay there) night xx