Feeling Good

I am almost finished my first 8 units in my course. Super excited as the course is set up to only give me (or anyone doing it) access to parts at a time. Almost at stage 2- another 8 units. One step closer each and everyday.

So I didn’t post yesterday because I had work and then a few minutes after, I had Zumba. Zumba was good though right at the end my ankle decided it needed a break. I pushed through because it was the last dance though when I got home I couldn’t walk. Whoops. Tell you what, missing that one week of Zumba really throws you out. My feet were wanting to do something entirely different from the actual dances, but I made it.

Yesterday was day three of me being strict and I have to be honest, there have been times I wanted chocolate or pizza (thanks to the smell of it in the shop down the road) but its like my body is internally saying no to me. its weird to say- believe me I know- but its like my body’s rhythm because I have tried, and failed, to do this before. Maybe its picking up some sort of memory from the last time.

Anyway, until next time xx


Day one

Today is day one of me being strict as all hell on myself. I did my yoga, had water and cereal for breakfast and I thought I could do it. It was going great… then lunchtime hit. I got those cravings. I got that feeling that feels like you’re missing something in your stomach and yes I did continually ask Ben if we could go get some chocolate or pizza. It got hard real quick.

It took a nap for me to stop asking for it. I am really happy that Ben also said no to it, because now I now he is 100% supporting me in my decision to not have chocolate  or anything unhealthy. However, I am going to put it out there that on Friday is mine and Ben’s 3 year anniversary. There is a chance that I will most likely have some chocolate or something unhealthy. Though in saying that, it will not be as bad as I have been of late.

Tonight, I did the cooking. I made the Asian dish I like and I am planning to make chicken and pasta tomorrow night- well that’s if the chicken has defrosted by then. Right now, the cravings are still there but not as annoying as they were today. The end result is worth it so I have to stay strong.

Till next time xx

Body Image

So today I had my last piece of chocolate, my last coke and said goodbye. Goodbye for a long time because until I learn how to balance what I am eating, I am not touching it again. Due to today bringing in this new stand on my health and lifestyle choices, I have done some research on body image.

I have included some of what I have found in my post and yes- there is some stuff about children and teens. I may not be one myself anymore but body image effects everyone, men and women. These days young children are being influenced (of course this has been going on for a while though I feel it important to point out that it is becoming a lot worse) by their environment and social media that it only makes sense that as teens the image of themselves either becomes worse to the point of hating themselves or they have made the conscience and healthy decision to not pay attention to the flashy media signs of what body image should be. Kind of feel like there should have been a full stop somewhere in there :/

Lets discuss the issue:

What is body image:

Body image is how you think and feel about your body. The way you picture your body in your mind, may or may not may or may not match your body’s actual size and shape. This is your body image and can effect how you feel toward your body usually negative if your body isn’t the way the picture in your mind is.

Healthy/Positive body image: Where you feel happy and satisfied with your body and can accept who you are and what you look like.

Unhealthy/Negative body image: Where you feel unhappy, unsatisfied and wanting to change what you look like.

The body image you have growing up may or may not change depending on your lifestyle choices and self esteem. Sometimes in adulthood the body image you had as a child/teen are outgrown due to a strong self esteem. However, sometimes the body image you had growing up stays with you are intensives- often due to low self esteem.

Note: Body issues effect us all differently- men, women, girls and boys. For example, teenage girls who don’t like their bodies often want to lose weight and be thinner. Teenage boys want to lose weight, be taller or have more muscles.


In childhood, there are so many different things that can influence your mind. Factors such as family environment, ability or disability, the attitudes of peers, the media, the fashion industry and cultural background.

As puberty hits children, thoughts about their looks begin to occur more frequent. They may be starting to feel pressure about fitting in and how looking ‘good’ is the best way to fit in. This is the overall formation of body image later in life.

Risk factors of negative body image-

For teens there are many risk factors that may cause or contribute to their body image. Some of these are-

  • A feeling a pressure from family, peers or media to fit into a narrow ideal of beauty and attractiveness
  • A feeling of unworthiness due to family members or peers teasing them about the way they look
  • They have a different body shape or weight from peers- this sometimes puts a negative thought in teens minds that there is something wrong with them for being different
  • Seeing the ‘ideal’ body shape in magazines and media outlet and thinking they can never ‘look like her/ him’ or ‘I’ll never be that beautiful’
  • The constant comparing to others. Looking at themselves on the ‘outside’ and worrying about how others will think them
  • Having physical disabilities can servery impact on body image of young and mature teens

Having a low self esteem and a negative/unhealthy body image can lead to negative moods and mood swings.

I’m going to get real and share with you all what has happened to me growing up. I have always been a bigger girl. This was due to stress mainly as my parents being divorced and going to court for custody over me. Now, my mum was/is a bigger lady too and growing up she would never face her own weight rather make me feel horrible for being a bigger child. I mean I wasn’t that big but differently on the overweight scale. Anyway, because she took it out on me a lot, she would call me fatty boom sticks or if I had lost a little bit of weight to fix the problem, she would say I was too thin. There was never an in between and it made me feel awful. Actually thinking about it, that’s probably one of the reasons why I never learnt to balance my food.

Body image concerns- Signs to watch out for:

  • Feeling of inadequancy about or criticise her/his body – might say they’re ugly
  • Continually comparing their body with others
  • Not want to leave the house because of the way they look
  • Not doing activities or trying new things because of the way they feel about their body
  • Obsess about losing weight, or about specific parts of their body, like the face or legs
  • Frequently checking their body – they might spend lots of time looking at themselves in the mirror or taking photos and looking for changes or imperfections
  • Link food with feelings of guilt, shame or blame

How can you help yourself and others you may know develop a healthy body image?

Talking about body image and being open and honest with yourself and those around you is one of many steps you can take to developing a healthy body image. This can help both teen and adults as often teens are confused and feel pressure (sometimes their own doing) regarding body image so by talking about can help them understand and appreciate their bodies more and for adults, talking about body image can help them make a choice of which path they want to take- getting fit and in shape or not really caring.

Also by being a positive role model. Being positive toward your own body image shows others what healthy body image is. This may make it easier for them to accept and appreciate their own body if they can see you demonstrating your own healthy body image.


I think I’m going to leave this post here for the night. However, I will be continuing at some point tomorrow because this is a serious issue and is very close to my heart. Body image is a very broad topic with so many different paths along the body image journey.

Remember to stay beautiful xx

Till next time xx

Time For Some Honesty

I haven’t posted in a few days. I have been a little bit ashamed to be honest because I have been indulging like there is no tomorrow. Yes, I mean chocolate and junk food. Basically everything unhealthy. I haven’t been doing my morning yoga or anything spiritual, which I normally did after yoga i.e. meditation, daily readings etc.

It started on Wednesday night when my friend and I couldn’t go to Zumba. That night I had Nutella pizza for dinner and then on thew Thursday I had KFC for lunch followed by another Nutella pizza- yeah I had two lunches on Thursday. Not only that but I have been buying Easter eggs at night time. You know the the small cadbury ones? Yeah them. A pack a night.

But in all truth I started eating chocolate a few weeks before that. Why? I don’t know. I mean I was fine and then I just got the craving for it. Of course I gave in but now…… now I just can’t stop. Nope, that’s a lie. I can stop, I just haven’t had the motivation to stop. So I made a decision to start again. To make the choice to be happy and to get rid of my health issues. This time I am gonna be harsh with myself. I’m talking no chocolate, no soft drink (OK maybe lemonade here and there) and absolutely no junk food (well maybe if I’m out with friends. Which is hardly ever so I think I’m OK).

I mean, I’m a typical girl who is in love with chocolate and all that unhealthy junk. Don’t get me wrong, I love a juicy Big Mac or a block of chocolate while watching a movie. Especially if its Harry Potter *Big Fan Girl Right Here* but I need to learn to balance that love with the love and self worth of my body.Right now however, I haven’t learnt that skill of balance so this is the best and at times (like now) the only option for me. To be harsh with myself and use a little tough love.

I am posting this today as I have had some time to think. Its good for me to post the healthy things on here to help me keep track but its only good and helpful to post the indulgences I have been doing. This way I can monitor my progress and see where and why I had a set back. Either way, I am doing this for myself. I’m not doing it to impress anyone or to have people judge me- which I am sure there is at least one person who will the moment I step outside the comfort of my house. This is because I am beautiful. I am strong. I am worth a lot more then I give myself credit.

Everyone is beautiful in their own way. Please remember that and love yourself.

Anyway, until next time xx


The hardest thing about going on any kind of diet for me is chocolate.  Giving up sugar is fine but my biggest weakness….. Chocolate. I mean what girl is immune to the sweet taste of chocolate? Ben and I agreed that the chocolate that’s already in the house (which isn’t much) I can have but once it’s gone, it’s gone. However it doesn’t help when dad brings home chocolate cakes.
Today was not the best day to cut down on chocolate. Dad left to go to the Sunday raffles with nan and pop while Ben was asleep until 2:00  because he had hayfever the last night and couldn’t sleep so I sat with my cat and ate almost a whole box of M&Ms. I can tell you I felt horrible afterwards. Not the ‘I’m going to be sick’ kind of horrible but the ‘crap, I’m not supposed to eat this’ kind of horrible. I’ll just have to try harder to control myself. I might try and have some sugar free gum whenever I feel like chocolate,  it might help.
Dad came home at the same time Ben woke up. Which was good as I was starting to go crazy having deep and meaningful conversations with Crookshanks (yes, I named my cat after Hermione’s cat in Harry Potter). I helped dad put away the shopping which to my disappointment, he had a chocolate cake that pop didn’t want while Ben called up bigpond to fix the internet problem. It’s pretty common for us to have internet problems so you can imagine the surprise when the guy told Ben that’s it’s been down for quiet some time. The longest we’ve actually had problems for has been a day max but 2 or 3 is just bizzare. Though my theroy is the weather got to it. Rain can be a bother sometimes even though I really enjoy it.
For the first time ever I had a bath and then a shower. My thought process was that I’d have a nice relaxing Lavender sented bath with my Rose Quartz Crystal and then a cool (but not too cool as the weather is a tad bit cold) shower to wash away any negative energy,  pain from my wrist and unfortunately the Lavender sent… Or at least dull the smell so Ben didn’t end up with Hayfever again…. from my body. That and it’s just easier to wash my hair in the shower then the bath. I am heavily into herbal medicines and Crystals and things. I have a strong connection to my spiritual side and because of who I am, I have been called a gypsy amongst other things throughout my life. Though I understand that people have their own opinions, views and beliefs that I chose not to listen to them. I know I said it before but I’ll say it again because there are only a few mottos I live by, those who mind, don’t matter and those who matter, don’t mind.
After I was out of the shower,  I made a green tea and went back to bed to watch some anime with Ben. We agreed on Bleach as we are only up to the second season and I haven’t seen it before. Ben has but no matter how many times I ask him what happens, he changes the subject. I mean come on, I can’t help it if I’m so impatient or as I like to call it VIP (very impatient person). During Bleach I decided to pamper myself so Ben cooked dinner which was fabulous and then I went to the bathroom to apply a face mask and use more Lavender oil to massage into my hands and wrists. I really enjoyed taking my time and doing a kind of spa treatment for myself. My adverage day is spent looking after other people either worrying about them, listening to their problems/ drama, organising and planning events and days out or racking my brain tring to things of words of wisdom/ advice for them that it was just nice to think of me for once. Don’t get me wrong I am kind of a mother hen of the group and I love my friends to bits but I have to admit sometimes I do feel like I just don’t want to know any of the dramas or problems and sometimes I don’t want to plan and organize….. So at times where I can think of no one but myself, I lather it up.
Right now I think it’s Bleach time, so until next time, night xx